Naming Political Parties

The political parties in the US are some of the worst-named ever.  They have no real descriptive power.  We should rename them for what they actually represent.  Let’s give some of them more descriptive names that actually show what they stand for:

Republican Party = Corporate Theocracy Party
Short, sweet, to the point, and far more accurate than anything that’s come out of their mouths in the last few decades.

Democratic Party = Moderate Conservative Party
Had the Republicans not been taken over by the wingnuts, their policies would look pretty much exactly like what the Democrats espouse today.

Libertarian Party = Randian Robber Baron Party
Let’s just quit mincing words, alright?  The whole damn lot of them are living in this fantasy world in which the “magic of the market” will somehow fix everything that’s wrong with the universe.  None of them have a good enough grasp of history to realize that we’ve been down that road before, and it resulted in monopolies, price fixing, and indentured servitude in the form of the “company store”.

It occurs to me that the Republicans could also be called the “Bronze Age Regressive Party”, but I think the one above is a little more accurate.  I also think the Randian Robber Baron Party’s name is a bit too long, but don’t really have anything better to replace it with.

Anyone else have better names?