Today is national coming out day. Or international coming out day, I'm not entirely certain. At any rate, I figured I should post something for it.
I find the model in this video attractive. If he asked me, I would have sex with him.* What makes that a significant statement is that I have identified as straight my entire life. Am I all of a sudden not? Maybe, but maybe not. He is, after all, rather feminine in appearance.
I grew up rather sheltered and repressed, a logical consequence of being born into a fairly devout Christian family. As a result, I had no idea that it was even possible to be attracted to someone of the same gender. Gay people weren’t mythical bogeymen; they weren’t even a concept in my worldview.
The existence of gay people became very real to me when my brother came out. At first, it made me uncomfortable. But when I finally became an atheist, I also became an equal rights supporter. It was not an easy road for me; it took a lot of conscious effort to finally reject the poisonous religion I’d grown up with.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. I might even be a little bit gay myself, if you count a self-assessed score of 1 on the Kinsey scale. I’ve come to the conclusion that I shouldn’t let something as small as a penis stop me from being attracted to someone.
Besides, I like the penis. I find it kind of fascinating. It’s really a remarkable little piece of biological engineering. Sometimes I want to play with someone else’s just so I can examine it up close and experiment with it. I never got to do that when I was younger, and I feel like I missed out on something.
But that’s not the only reason. I also want to play gay just to spite the self-righteous religious bigots. “Oh look, fundamentalists are preaching about the evils of being gay again. Want to give each other blowjobs?” It’s kind of like a drinking game, only with sperm instead of booze.
Maybe I’m a bit gayer than I’ve been self-identifying. Maybe I’m overreacting to the repression of my youth. Maybe this is my version of a mid-life crisis. Maybe I’m coming to the conclusion that gender, at least for me, isn’t as relevant to physical attraction as I’ve always thought it was. Or maybe I just haven’t been laid recently enough. Perhaps it’s a combination of things. I really don’t know.
I’m also not sure that it actually matters. If I don’t care what gender my sexual partners are (or aren’t, as the case may be), why should anyone else? They’re not the ones having the sex, after all.
* I am not mis-gendering him; he does self-identify as male.